As expected.
Been pretty much in the dumps for a while now. Several issues have cropped up and it has gotten me thinking about life and mortality and all that.
Okaylah not so much mortality about my future, things with Nat, my job, projects, friends, people around me and my entire ideological stand on things. A lot of anger has been put away for a few months now and I’ve been working on attaining inner peace for some time. Sometimes it works, sometimes I fail.
Just a few shitty issues that I have been meaning to address: Manjit ‘Malaysia is not good enough for anybody’ Bhatia, the farcical Machap bye bye elections (thanks Dean for phrase!), the past that haunts, stupid politicians saying stupid things, unsupportive friends, the constant displeasure I have with everything …..
… but I have lost all the energy to fight or argue.
What has made me most angry and disappointed (with myself) is my contemplation to leave all this behind to seek ‘greener’ pastures because I’m fucking tired, scared to bits and dying to run away.
How’s my future looking? Dim. And that really, really freaks me out.
:(
April 18th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
the future is not that bad.. cmon.. u covering ijok or not?
i feel like going!
April 18th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
i don’t think i’m covering ijok. still a baby tikus in the office i guess :) go lah and give tan sri support! hehe.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Well dear tikus, there are days and times one does doubt. Take it from someone that spend almost 30yrs in UK and returned last year that the grass is not greener on the other side. I am sad and frustrated at the state of affairs in our country. Yet, I pray and hope that the brave will prevail. Trust that good will prevail as well. I have been warmed by the energy and strength of conviction of the bloggers here. Don’t give up and fight the urge to be a tikus in a hole.. Do your squeak, speak, roar!
God bless and keep you. Don’t let the sun set down on you. Patience and love will bear fruit ;-)
Not so old sage?
April 19th, 2007 at 11:09 am
can feel the angst behind your writings.. be strong… it will come and go becos it is life. just be careful of choices you make during this period.
Maybe you should read this piece I left on my blog..is call It is a Gay old World -http://www.agnostic-lor.blogspot.com/ - not that type of gay …:-) and i am not whoring my blog !
Maybe I should just paste it here:
It’s a gay old world when you’re gay
And a glad old world when you’re glad;
But whether you play
Or go toiling away
It’s a sad old world when you’re sad.
It’s a grand old world if you’re great
And a mean old world if you’re small;
It’s a world full of hate
For the foolish who prate
Of the uselessness of it all.
It’s a beautiful worlds to see
Or it’s dismal in every zone.
The thing it must be
In its gloom or its glee
Depends on yourself alone.
-Anonymous
April 19th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
:(
but for now sweetie, just wanted to say hi from ijok and missing you heaps too!
April 19th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
It’s a great day… From morning to night!
It’s a great day… For everyone’s plight : )
So, pull yourself together & stay true to yourself & the cause… U, my dear tikus, are a strong soul : )
Band of Bloggers, roll on!!!
April 19th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
everyone will get burn out once in a while… the trick is to take a break… we are all human. we need break….
go somewhere and recharge…. distant yourself from all these… go away… recharge, and i am sure u will come back much stronger.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:52 am
Hello Politikus, sometimes we move with full steam ahead throwing aside all emotions, frustrations and what-have -you. Suddenly, your train stops dead in its tracks and you find your path is full of junk . What can you do? As Zewt said, go somewhere else. Walk away from it for a while. Distant yourself from everything that has engulfed you. When you are recharged with a clear mind, come back. Pick up what you can deal with, throw away what you can do without.
April 20th, 2007 at 10:03 am
i think u need another vacation, maybe siam reap was too tiring! go to koh samui or something.. or the perhentians. hehe
April 21st, 2007 at 3:11 am
This is what I do.
I make sure on weekend me and mrs take a camera, go around in t shirt, half pants, sneaker, cap and walk at a park or any place natural.
Bring little food or drink in a haversack. Then get away …half or full day. Forget abt the world. Sometimes I do it alone.
When you are tired, you go back home, Take a nice bath and take a nap. Evening, I go for a swim. Relaxing … At nght you do whatever but don’t be late. You’ll get a good and relaxing night sleep. Next day …. fresh.
Start with the orchid/hibuscus farm at Lake Garden. Next perhasp, FRIM. and so on.
April 21st, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Use the click wheel on your iPod, find U2’s album and hit on “The Beautiful Day”. Full blast!
April 21st, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Dear …tikus:
Take a hiatus to Haiti if you can.
OR read some poetry, go for the soul and Recharging.
“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence …”
From: desiderata of happiness
April 24th, 2007 at 5:14 am
Yet another bunch of advice from a stranger, sorry… couldn’t keep it in :)
Girl, I think what you do is pretty much awesome! Born and bred in Germany, the mother country of political lethargy, where none moves their body to change something, but very much moves their lips to complain instead, I’m in deep awe of you and your work! You have so much passion and strength for your work, to fight for what you belive in!!
There are days when you doubt, when you are afraid, when everything is too much and you just want to curl up and give a damn about the world. Happens. You are allowed to take some time off, to re-charge, to vent, whatever you need to feel better. It’s human.
Just… don’t give up. Not on yourself, and not on what you believe in.
And believe it or not, your blogging has more or less turned me into a political person :) feeling kinda bad, knowing that there are people like you, fighting and really giving a damn, while I’m busying myself with my own little life…
Take care, tikus, give what you can spare, but not any more, alright?
Best wishes,
Julia