The cherry tree.
I thought we could do with a little humour. I got this from a colleague and I’m sharing it with you all :) Enjoy!
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Legend has it that George Washington, America’s first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe. His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :- “I can’t tell a lie, Pa; you know I can’t tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.”
This is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question :-
PM Badawi - I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.
DPM Najib Abdul Razak - I swear that I have never MET that tree.
Hishammuddin Hussein - … but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree.
Dr. Mahathir - Apa nama cherry tree, I chopped it down because, I don’t like the idea of Pak Lah sleeping under it.
Chua Soi Lek - Yes, it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.
VK Lingam - It could be me, it might have been me but I don’t think it’s me.
Anwar Ibrahim - I DID NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA samples for you to plant on the axe handle.
Khir Toyo - the new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.
Ahmad Said (Terrenganu MB) - I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.
Azalina Othman - The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down. Besides there were unauthorized signboards put up around the tree.
Shabery Cheek - I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.
Samy Vellu - I chopped it because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point
Wira Ali Rustam - We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.
Rais Yatim - You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustam said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see, its a WIN-WIN situation all around.
Shahrir Samad - I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.
Karpal Singh - The bigfoot creature did it.
Bung Mokhtar - The big monkey did it
Pandikar Amin Mulia - There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees. Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk. Sit down.
Khairy Jamaluddin - I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what’s a cherry tree?
Lim Kit Siang - (In response to Khairy) Cherry tree also you don’t know, you are an insult to Oxford!
Nazri Aziz - Racist, racist, racist, when we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss.
Malaysian Citizens - Oh for heavens sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death.
August 12th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
and this is how newspapers/websites in Malaysia will report this in their front page headlines.
The Star - Cherry Tree cut down, BN Govt defends action, blames Opposition “hidden” agenda.
The NST - PM and DPM believes Cherry Tree Massacre meant to cause racial disharmony
Utusan Malaysia - Kerajaan memberi amaran kepada pembangkang “Jangan menyentuh hak istimewa pokok ceri yang tumbang.”
Berita Harian - Pokok Ceri tumbang - Angkara Anwar dan PR?
The Sun - Cherry Tree dismemberment root cause of political unrest in Malaysia
Malaysiakini - BN in disarray - admits tree cutting incident
Malaysian Insider - Leslie Lau - The tree that chopped a nation
Malaysia-Today - No Holds Barred - Let’s send the Cherry Tree choppers to HELL!
Susan Loone - RPK says lets send the Cherry Tree choppers to HELL! Let’s do it!
Rocky’s bru - I’m so disgusted with the chopping i think im going on strike
People’s Parliament - Its time to take back our trees with a petition to the King!
jelas.info - Cherry tree incident - why we still fail to understand one another
niamah - haiyah, which fler cut down our tree ah?
zorro- unmasked - the cherry tree cutter deserves the fart chambers!
whatalulu- lulu wonders what will happen to the poor cherry tree
kickdefella - Forum potong pokok - Angkara Abdullah
and finally!!!
politikus - cherry tree? what cherry tree? I was busy doing restaurant reviews lahhh
hahahaha…
ok , had fun doing this, wonder any other readers got any to add as well?
been reading your guys blogs for so long, so i have an idea what would the headlines be too :P
August 12th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
that’s the funniest thing i’ve heard all day!! :) thanks, shiver.
August 12th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
john sent me this link… i’m surprised, but I actually have read enough blogs over the past 3 years to understand some of that comment!!!!!
August 13th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Tikus why you so cute one?
August 13th, 2008 at 12:55 am
LOL! Thanks for the good laugh, polytikus and shiver! :D
August 13th, 2008 at 3:45 am
hilarious…. thanks
August 13th, 2008 at 9:31 am
This is classic! Or may I say a grand summary of the last one year of Malaysia? So if you have been on the ‘lost’ island, just read this and catch up in no time. :-)
August 13th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Hi All ,
I am glad you enjoyed it, I am the original author of that piece
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6778953884&topic=5296
http://www.malaysiakini.com/letters/87228
Shiver, I enjoyed your responses, could I post them in the above facebook link ?
Best Regards
Vijay Kumar Murugavell
August 13th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Hi all glad you enjoyed my piece ….
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6778953884&topic=5296
http://www.malaysiakini.com/letters/87228
Shiver, hilarious response, especially the part Susan Loone echoes RPK…lol
Warmest Regards
Vijay
August 13th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Malaysian version “Why does the chicken cross the road?” :)
August 13th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
LOL… saw it first from some YB’s blog… :D
Actually this is not quite right:
Pandikar Amin Mulia - There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees, Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.sit down.
Bukit Gelugor did not stand up in Parliament lah… ;) So no need sit down… LOL
August 13th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
that is some amazing work, vijay! :)
August 13th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
hi vijay, thats very funny. u are in the D9 group too eh? :D
yah sure go ahead and use it, The one on Susan’s not many people would’ve gotten it, glad you did! :) hehe
August 13th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
ha ha thanks politikus, glad you all enjoyed it
August 13th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
this is HILARIOUS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG :D
August 13th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I thought it was absolutely brilliant, and so was shiver’s. :)
Thanks for the laughs, y’all!
August 13th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I prefer Rambutans myself! :-)
August 15th, 2008 at 1:36 am
This is the funniest thing I’ve read for a long long time!